EXPECT ‘IMMENSE CONFUSION’ AT JACKO VERDICT

Sure, we’ll soon see how Michael Jackson likes it when his ass is in someone else’s hands — namely a jury of his peers, although they’re considerably older than his usual peer group. (Sadly, Corey Feldman and the Culkins do not a full jury make.) But what’ll be most fun to watch in the coming days is the media outlets’ race to report the verdict in the trial. M.J. trial judge Rodney S. Melville has banned electronic communications. Reporters have had to rotate in and out of a handful of reserved media seats. And front row views of the promenade leading into and out of the courtroom have reached a premium. So we’ll likely see another barrage of semaphores, hand signals, and analog indicators coming from underpaid producers. Remember what happened last time they relied on brightly colored cards to indicate the fate of a different white diva? MSNBC, you botched the Martha Stewart verdict but quickly corrected yourselves. Our tuners are set to CNBC. Mike Huckman, if you’re on duty, you might want to hire some professional help.