BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

Did President George W. Bush seal Osama Bin Laden’s fate with a kiss? Ever since CIA chief Porter Goss admitted to Time magazine three weeks ago that he has “an excellent idea” where the top terrorist is hiding, the chatter among Capitol Hill democrats has been that Bin Laden remains at large because he’s hiding in Bush’s blind spot—Saudi Arabia. “There is a lot of evidence from what Goss has said publicly, and our President’s relationship with the Saudi Royal family, that warrants an investigation,” one Democratic congressman tells Radar. “But the Democrats don’t want to appear too hysterical with this, so they’re taking their time to find out the facts.”

If the man responsible for killing 3,000 Americans is in Saudi Arabia it presents a unique problem for the petrol-rich president, the congressman said. “Who can forget the kiss between Bush and [Saudi CrownPrince Abdullah two months ago when they sat down to talk about ‘oil prices?’ Well, since then, oil prices have skyrocketed to 60 bucks a barrel! The Saudis literally have the President by the balls.” Since one of Bin Laden’s stated goals is the overthrow of the House of Saud, it’s unlikely the royal family is sheltering him, but the glut of radical Wahabbists in the country who would happily take the terrorist in makes the scenario a distinct possibility, the congressman said. Moreover, Bush knows that going into Saudi Arabia for Bin Laden would most certainly spark a civil war and oil crisis. “The bottom line is any truly sovereign nation will give him up, but there aren’t many of those in the Middle East.”