THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

How did a porn king and his 36DD leading lady get themselves a sit-down with Karl Rove and President Bush?

It is Mary Carey’s dream to meet the President of the United States. Of course, it’s also her dream to have sex with Karl Rove, Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Pat Buchanan, Alan Colmes, and one player from every NBA team. One of those dreams will come true tonight at the 2005 President’s Dinner & Salute to Freedom; when George W. Bush sits down to break bread with 6,000 Republican boosters, Carey will be there.

When I spoke to Carey a couple of nights before the Flag Day event, it becomes immediately clear that she’s charming, intelligent, and articulate. She also happens to be the lead thespian in Tit HappensLesbian Big Boob Bangeroo, and Everybody Loves Big Boobies. Carey is accompanying her boss Mark Kulkis, president of Kick Ass Pictures, to the President’s Dinner. How, exactly, did a porn king and his 36DD leading lady get themselves invited to a fundraiser for those holier-than-thou House Republicans?

The Republicans, Kulkis tells Radar, came to him. For publicity reasons he affixed his company’s name to a pro-Republican ad in the Wall Street Journal, then received an invitation and paid for two $2,500 tickets. National Republican Congressional Committee spokesman Carl Forti admitted as much to the AP and said, “Their money was donated to the NRCC. The NRCC’s job is to elect Republicans. We’ll take that money and use it to elect more Republicans.” Sounds reasonable.

Except of course that Bush’s base isn’t much impressed by reason, or by triple-X sex flicks. Pastor Kelly Boggs of the Valley Baptist Church in McMinnville, Oregon, wrote in the Baptist Press, “Thank you, Mr. Forti, for clearing things up… If I understand the explanation correctly, economics trumps ethics. To put it another way, money talks — even money gained by prostituting the glorious gift of sex — and everything else walks. ”

But Carey has a few surprises for religious conservatives like the Rev. Boggs. She notes, “I am very Christian. I believe in God; I grew up believing and still believe in a lot of Christian morals; I believe in the Ten Commandments; I believe that thou shalt not kill; I believe in doing good and being a nice human being.”

Carey is excited about the luncheon she and Kulkis are attending with Rove (“very sexy” she says of him), and hopes that later that evening she’ll be able to make a real connection with the president. “President Bush is pretty good looking,” she says. “It’ll be fun. He seems like a party animal. Look at his daughters — they obviously get it from somewhere. I’d love to party with them.”

But she’s a bit anxious, too. “I wish I could fit in a little more,” she says. “I think I’m gonna get stared at because I have long, blond hair and big boobs. I have a feeling that they’re going to put me at the furthest table.”

This isn’t Carey’s first brush with politics. A couple of years ago, she placed tenth in the race for governor of California, running as a Democrat on a platform that included a tax on breast implants, making lap dances a tax-deductible business expense, and placing live Web cams in every room of the governor’s mansion. Carey also made a splash last year with her Bullets Not Boobs campaign, another of her boss’s brainstorms. Kulkis, who worked in public relations before “turning to the dark side,” prides himself in being the only adult movie producer to guarantee “no fake boobs” in his movies. When he found out that the Department of Defense was giving female soldiers boob jobs at taxpayer expense, he smelled an opportunity. He took Carey and some sign-toting protesters to a military recruiting office in downtown Los Angeles, and earned her appearances on Hannity & ColmesThe O’Reilly Factor, and CNN.

When asked if there was any political motivation for attending the President’s Dinner, Kulkis admits that media attention isn’t unwelcome, but insists that his principal aim lays elsewhere. “When you meet people one on one, it dispels stereotypes of what pornographers and porn stars are like. We wear suits, we’re well spoken, we’re just people. That has to have an impact on these legislators. When someone tries to pass an unfairly restrictive law against the industry they’ll think, ‘You know what? These people are taxpayers, they’re business people, they don’t deserve this.’”

Carey also think the pair can make a difference. “Politicians see the people who make porn movies as sleazy and the girls as dumb, but Mark’s not sleazy and I’m not dumb.” She pauses for a minute then asks, “Do you think I should shave my vagina tonight or tomorrow?”

Total
0
Shares