Radar's handwriting analyst deciphers the signatures of 2008's presidential front-runners

BARACK OBAMA
He wants to be perceived as a man of overpowering intellect and spirituality. His handle, however, reveals a man preoccupied with sex and fame.
Warning Signs: Grossly swollen capital letters indicate an Oprah-like need for attention. The phallic B deserves an NC-17 rating, while the slashed O in his surname may suggest fury at his absentee dad.
BOTTOM LINE: As inspirational beacons of hope go, an interesting—if neurotic—lay.

HILLARY CLINTON
Her tall, legible script reveals a straight talker who's effective in a crisis—though sometimes a tad frosty. Note the steroidal bulk and soaring vertical strokes of Hillary. She sees herself as a brave pioneer. But the word Clinton is dwarfed in her signature.
Warning Signs: Rodham collapses into a vague scribble, suggesting she lies through omission.
BOTTOM LINE: Impressively presidential. She'll own the coveted graphologist bloc.