< FIRST PAGE
6 OF 13 CONTINUE >

Very Bad Toys

(continued)

6. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls

images/2006/12/snack-time-cabbage-patch.jpg
SHOCK AND GNAW She might not have been human, but her hunger pains were all too real
"Feed Me!" begged the packaging for 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid. And much like the carnivorous Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, the adorable lineup of Cabbage Patch snack-dolls appeared at first to be harmless. They merely wanted a nibble—a carrot perhaps, or maybe some yummy pudding. They would stop chewing when snack time was done—they promised. Then they chomped your child's finger off.

In creating this innovative new toy, the great minds at Mattel devised a motorized mouth that sensed neither pleasure nor pain. It chewed for chewing's sake. With no mechanism to turn off the munching should trouble arise, it was only a matter of time before some cherub's long blond hair got caught in the doll's rabid jaws. After 35 fingers and ponytails fell victim, the Snacktime Kids were removed from retail shelves forever, and 500,000 customers were offered a full $40 refund.

<< First Page

6 OF 13 Continue >>

 


Full Court Press
Charles Kaiser on Torture Team: Rumsfeld's Memo and the Betrayal of American Values

Generation Slap
They're naive, self-important, and perpetually plugged in. This is a call to arms against Millennials

MURDER! MUTILATION! CANNIBALISM!
One man's tour through the world of death metal

Homosexual Agenda
Gayest Person Ever? Author Joel Derfner wants the title

Full Court Press
Frank Rich leads this week's list of Winners and Sinners


EXECUTIVE EDITOR:


EDITED BY:



Email us at:
tips@radaronline.com
or IM: TipRadar







The Chris Matthews Race and Gender Reel

Britney Seeks Divine Wisdom from Mel

'Worst Person on the Internet' Finally Indicted

Headline of the Day

Pharmaceutical Slogans For Politicians

Sources: WaPo Executive Editor Leonard Downie Out in '09

Anthony Pellicano Goes Down

Jose Canseco Wants to Whoop You

British Teens Imperil the Future of the Nation by Climbing Things, Jumping Off Them

California Supreme Court Overturns Ban On Gay Marriage





House Speaker Nancy Pelosi Brings the Pain
It's getting hot in here

Your '80s Heroes Are Now Losers
Just as messed up as we hoped

A post-Obama world is a good world
Yes, he did

Bush the Third
You've been warned

A younger Bill O'Reilly gets angry
But did he ever have it?