Why is your love life going to the dogs? Possibly because

Why are you still single? Possibly because you…

1. Call Grey’s Anatomy simply “Grey’s”

2.Have entertained the notion that “the Axe Effect” is real

3.Own tie-dyed gym clothes

 Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles

5. Are only gay when you’re drunk

6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks

7. Wink in a rakish manner each time you tell a joke

8. Have a ferret on your shoulder

9. Call sex “the squishy squish”

10. Are Courtney Love

11. Hug amusement park mascots

12. Address acquaintances as “guy”

13. Use emoticons in handwritten letters

14. Own a “It’s Not Going to Suck Itself” T-shirt

15. Initiate line dances

16. Have only one pickup line: “Why the long face?”

17. Posed shirtless for your MySpace page

18. Can’t stop missing Anna Nicole

19. Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers

20. Call your therapist from work on speakerphone

21. Won’t travel anywhere out of “blading distance”

22. Sleep on WWF sheets

23. Begin stories with, “I’m not a stalker, but …”

24. Snack on Bac-Os

25. Know someone who knows someone who knows the Geico caveman