nce the province of Spencer Gifts, the novelty T-shirt is now proudly flaunted by post-adolescent frat boys and Judd Apatow extras, and, naturally, it’s cruder and nastier than ever. Marketed by censor-free online start-ups like and, the next generation of slogan wear makes that “Mustache Rides” tank your dirty uncle used to rock seem positively Victorian. But what happens when one attention-starved person’s right to express himself with prepackaged offensive slogans intersects with a bystander’s right to beat him about the head? To find out, Radar selected a few of the most repellent options available and took them for test-drives around New York City.

Test Site: Bloomingdale’s

Results: Employees and clients alike seem thoroughly unimpressed. After 30 minutes of wandering around, garnering only smiles, I succumb to the pitch of a foppish cologne salesman named Manuel. Shelling out $55 for a bottle of Michel Germain’s Sexual, I ask Manuel why he ignored my shirt. “Nothing shocks me, honey,” he says, directing a coworker’s gaze to my chest. “Elena, do you have a problem with this?” She takes a look. “Oh!” laughs Elena. “That shit is way funny!”