SHIRT HAPPENS

nce the province of Spencer Gifts, the novelty T-shirt is now proudly flaunted by post-adolescent frat boys and Judd Apatow extras, and, naturally, it’s cruder and nastier than ever. Marketed by censor-free online start-ups like foulmouthshirts.com and assholetshirts.com, the next generation of slogan wear makes that “Mustache Rides” tank your dirty uncle used to rock seem positively Victorian. But what happens when one attention-starved person’s right to express himself with prepackaged offensive slogans intersects with a bystander’s right to beat him about the head? To find out, Radar selected a few of the most repellent options available and took them for test-drives around New York City.

Test Site: Bloomingdale’s

Results: Employees and clients alike seem thoroughly unimpressed. After 30 minutes of wandering around, garnering only smiles, I succumb to the pitch of a foppish cologne salesman named Manuel. Shelling out $55 for a bottle of Michel Germain’s Sexual, I ask Manuel why he ignored my shirt. “Nothing shocks me, honey,” he says, directing a coworker’s gaze to my chest. “Elena, do you have a problem with this?” She takes a look. “Oh!” laughs Elena. “That shit is way funny!”