Hahahahahahahaha.
Guys: JOHN MCCAIN WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY. It's like, WHY he's running for president. So he can take your money. You can say he'll take less of it (which is not even necessarily true), or that he'll spend it better (which is not necessarily true, either), but you can't say that Barry will leave you all destitute and Mac will lead us into some sort of tax-free idyll.

They're politicians. They're here for your money, and they've got guns if you don't want to cooperate.

Sai1or:
Politicians are employed. The way they keep their job is through getting re-elected. They get re-elected by spending tons and tons of money on ads and stuff. Therefore, they only keep their jobs if people periodically give them tons and tons of money. Therefore, they will ALWAYS favor the wealthy over the non-wealthy. All of them. Because they want to keep their jobs. The capital letter after their name doesn't affect how much they want to stay employed, any more than your political affiliation affects how much you want to keep whatever job you have.

Hahahahahaha...hey Sai1or:
POLITICIANS LIE TO YOU. ALL OF THEM. ALL THE TIME.

The capital letter in parentheses after their name means nothing.

Also: There is no Santa Claus.

Sorry!

Why must the tabs be so normative about everything? Why are there no headlines like "Jon Mayer & Jennifer Aniston: Just Fucking Sometimes, When They Want To"?

I heard Sai1or's mom is a woman, AS IS HIS GRANDMOTHER! Clearly, Sai1or is a woman.

Duh!

What can you do? He's a fine young cannibal.

Yay Julia!

She's like 1/100000th as horrible as the cast of the Hills (e.g.), and setting a good example for horribly narcisistic little girls everywhere.

Hello, rickinduxbury, and welcome to the Internets. Exits are located on all sides of you, all the time.

Palin Pancakes = SEXIST.

But make sure to look for my line of Bristol Palin-brand unpasteurized eggs in your dairy case!

You can tell Lord Fauntleroy is really British, because he walks half-way down a curving staircase to argue with his girlfriend.

"Lipstick on a spider"

Why do you HATE MEN, you rabid misandrist?

Why does it have to be snarky shmucks on the internet who actually do this kind of legwork? Will ANY of these quotes EVER reach any of the flyover states? Will Barry and his team EVER say anything even remotely this critical of Mac?

I fear not...

Lee Siegel needs to get the Creative Commons graphic tattooed on his ass, cause he's just owned by the internet left and right.

I've never entirely understood why it's the expression of these fevered irrationalities that's such a big deal. There've always been people who don't believe the news, and there's always been news not worth believing.

Also, nobody's forcing anyone to read anything. That's the best part of the intarwubz. JUST DON'T CLICK IT.

P-A-N-T-Y
R-A-I
D-E-R, mad raw, he don't cry