(Continued)

You actually once said you believe in something called "a continuum of souls" that would make it likely that a murderer would come back to Earth as a cockroach.
Oh wow. I must have been high. That sounds very '90s to me. No, that doesn't sound like something I believe now, no.

Let's say reincarnation did exist, and you could choose to come back as any person in any time period. Anybody you wouldn't mind riding around inside of for a lifetime?
That's a great question. It's hard to relinquish the addictions we've gotten used to in our own life, like television and electricity. I'm sure if you were born in the 19th century you wouldn't miss it, but as a creature of comfort, I can't imagine being happy at any other time.

C'mon. Imagine living Ben Franklin's life.
Remember, he wiped his ass with bark.

Your film covers the fatwa issued on Salman Rushdie. Are you scared this film might earn you a fatwa of your own?
I think the threats are just as likely to come from Christians, because there are many crazy Christians out there. When you question anybody's beliefs, you can have trouble. There's a scene in the film where I go to this truckers chapel, and there's a big fat guy sitting there and he says, "When you start questioning my God, you got 
a problem with me," and he holds his fist up. I thought I was going to get pummeled, but thankfully, he walked out. There's a reason that religion is the last taboo. When you question someone's faith, you are questioning something that is out of the bounds of logic, and for millions of people, it's what their whole existence rests upon. But let's face it, it just doesn't hold up to scrutiny.

Are you beefing up your security?
I've had security for quite a while. But it's possible. I talked to Salman Rushdie and Richard Dawkins about this, and they both told me the same thing, which is, "whenever someone's interviewing you, they're going to want to talk about [the threat of physical danger]. Try to persuade them that the more this is talked about, the more likely this is to happen." So the more people who write that I might get killed, the more likely it is I'll get killed. Or you could just say, "I'm a journalist. Fuck him."

Let's say, hypothetically, that God calls you after this movie comes out and says, "You're wrong. Heaven 
and hell do exist. But I liked your movie so much, I want you to consult about who goes where." What happens to George Bush?
If there is a God, and there hadn't been a hell before, I think the life of George Bush would convince him to create one. If anybody deserves to rot in hell, it would be George Bush. And Cheney.

Who gets the hotter cubicle in hell?
Definitely Cheney. You know, Bush is to a degree the frontman. Obviously, nothing could have happened if he wasn't there. But I believe Cheney was the power behind 
the throne. I'm reading [Jane Mayer's] new book about how America got into the torture business, and it's Cheney and his right-hand man David Addington who pushed for this from the get-go. Bush, of course, didn't need all that much convincing; he loved executing people when he was governor of Texas. But Dick Cheney really is evil. If I were rerigging Dante's version of hell, Cheney would earn one of the hottest points toward the center, right behind cops who try to get laid by pulling pretty girls over.

So many smaller scandals have driven public figures from their pedestals. Why does Cheney still have a job?
Because the right wing is full of fucking hypocrites: Bill Bennett with the gambling problems? Bill O'Reilly with the falafel? Rush Limbaugh, who for years was saying 
if you do drugs, you go directly to jail, no ifs, ands, or buts, gets caught doing 30 OxyContin a day? Do you know how fuckin' high 30 OxyContin will get you? 
I'm a guy who's been very high in my life, but I have never been that high. Those are Elvis numbers this guy is putting up. And look at all the gay ones! Not just Larry Craig, Rev. Ted Haggard, or Mark Foley. There are ones that didn't make the big headlines. One, I shouldn't say his name—Bob Allen!—who was John McCain's chairman in Florida, was found to be going to public restrooms and offering men $20 to let him blow them! Now, that's fucking gay. And there was this Gary Aldridge, a prominent Alabama reverend and friend of Jerry Falwell's, who was found dead a year ago in June, hog-tied, wearing two rubber suits, with a dildo stuck up his ass.

So ... a scuba accident?
Well, it's what Republicans call natural causes. I mean, c'mon, we've all worn one rubber suit. But two rubber suits?

You did support McCain in 2000 ... 

I was absolutely a McCain supporter. A lot of us thought much more highly of John McCain in 2000, back when the Straight Talk Express meant something. The fact 
is, Al Gore was not my favorite candidate. If only he had been the Al Gore he is now eight years ago—a great speaker and a great voice. And conversely, John McCain, a pretty good voice in 2000, has become the opposite. Are you seeing a pattern here? Maybe it has something to do with what happens to people when they run for president.

At the time, you actually said George W. Bush is "not any worse than a lot of them, including Gore." How do you feel now?
I blame Al Gore for losing. Gore was running with peace and prosperity at his back. Seventy percent of the American people were against impeachment, and he got scared by the blow job and disowned Bill Clinton. He blew the election. He didn't stand up for what he believed in—he never talked about the environment, his big issue, and at the end of the day, people just couldn't vote for him because they went, "God, what a pandering pussy." Bush may be a retard, but at least he's got a pair of balls.

The Religulous trailer

If Barack Obama loses, does it mean we live in a racist country?
You have to wonder when a generic Democrat beats a generic Republican by 12 points and it's still a dead heat between Obama and McCain. Two months before the Pennsylvania primary, Ed Rendell, the governor, said, "Some people in my state just aren't ready to vote for a black person," and people went batshit. And then when they did the exit polls after Hillary won, a lot of people said, "Yeah, not ready for that yet." I think what's happened in the last 20 years is that racism has gone underground. If you fucked up—like Don Imus—you were pounded out with no questions asked, no chance to retract or recant because you said "nappy head." Now people have something they can do in the dark of the voting booth.

You were 35 when you created Politically Incorrect. In the years before that, while comedy-club peers like Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David were doing very well, you were struggling with parts in movies like Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. Was this hard for you?
Yes. The darkest period for me was in my early 30s, because it's okay in your 20s—you don't really expect to make it yet—and I was doing Johnny Carson every two months. And I went right to the next level as soon as I moved to L.A. in 1983. I had a series. I had a movie, D.C. Cab. So until the early '90s, I felt I was on the right path. I was trying to be more of an actor then, and I was doing movies of the week, Murder, She Wrote. And I just had this moment where I thought to myself, Why am I always the one that gets left by the side of the road? Those were dark times.