I Dream of Britney

When celebrities invade civilian slumber

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Short of mud wrestling, nothing makes a person feel dirty quite like dreaming about celebrities. Though we've all become relatively accustomed (or, you know, deadened, hardened) to the celebrity culture that saturates our lives, when a famous person drops in on our sleep, we feel the filth afresh: Shouldn't our subconscious be focused on something more pressing than Britney's breakdown? Something like, say, our own personal lives?

Here's something to wash away the grime: dreams about famous people that are more detailed, intense, and personally revealing than your own! Read about other regular folks' nighttime run-ins with the B-list, and wake up from your next dream about Seth Rogen knowing it could be worse—you could be dreaming about Hannah Montana.



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THE "MILEY CYRUS 3 A.M. CALL" DREAM
It's late at night and I receive a phone call from Michael Eisner. He tells me that he's calling because Miley Cyrus is leaving her role as Hannah Montana, and the studio is panicking and needs a replacement. I meet with Miley and we can tell that this is going to be an exciting transition for both of us. There's just one problem: They're still considering one other person for the role—Kirsten Dunst. To prove that I can really connect with Miley's audience, they have me do a special segment on Radio Disney as Hannah Montana. I am wearing the wig, costume, and all the trappings. And despite being old and sort of out of touch, the kids love me. I am their new Hannah Montana.
—Female, 25, has never watched the Disney Channel

Next dream: Sam Zell wants to go bareback >>

 


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