Confronting the awkward Facebook experience

For those who no longer wish to socially network in the glittery tween paradise of MySpace, Facebook has rapidly become the de facto site of choice for the popular pastimes of anonymous stalking, arbitrary spying and connecting with people you haven't seen or talked to in years.

The good news is that with such a wide range of users, including the much-maligned growth of users from the Baby Boom generation, the awkward encounters we reveled in when MySpace first caught fire are thankfully still alive and well.

For example, when my 57-year-old uncle joined Facebook, it wasn't long until he poked me. After the initial icky feeling wore off, I explained that poking is not a preferred method of saying hello among Facebook users. If anything, a SuperPoke, in which you karate chop or throw something at someone, is preferable, but truthfully, pokes of all kinds should generally be avoided.

"Awkward Facebook Encounters" (AFEs) can range from the relatively harmless defriending of a coworker to the more serious "deranged ex-boyfriend decides to say hello" variety. We detail several such experiences below. We also met a self-proclaimed "asshole" who explains how he was able to make four girls remove him from their friend lists forever.

*Names have been change to protect the embarrassed.

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AFE #1: The Unrequited Crush
Will Torres*, 28, New York City

According to Will, "The gays are always looking for love online," which is why he added the application "Are You Interested?"

In short, "Are You Interested?" lets users can click on people's photos to say they find them attractive and asks if the person is interested back. The recipient has the choice of clicking yes or no, and if the person says yes, the application helps move the conversation offline so the future lovebirds can connect in the real world.

Will has had the unfortunate experience of being asked three times if "he's interested" by a former Fire Island roommate with whom he barely spoke when they roomed together, and in whom he is "most definitely not interested."

However, his unrequited crush has not gotten the hint, because not only has he continued to ask Will for his response, but he's continually SuperPoked and SuperPinched him, and has "thrown stuff, even though I have never responded."

Says Will, "I'm not clicking yes, because I'm not interested, but I'm going to run into him eventually so I feel bad saying no. He's forever awaiting my click. When I see him, I expect it to be weird."

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AFE #2: The Forgotten Hookup
Miriam Shaw*, 24, Boise, ID

Miriam was browsing a friend's Facebook page when she saw that a former hookup had posted on her friend's wall. It had been more than five years since she they had last undressed each other, so she felt comfortable requesting him as a friend.

He accepted, but then sent her a private message asking her to remind him how they knew each other. Instantly peeved that their hookups had apparently not been memorable, made worse by the fact that she looked the exact same since their nights of passion, she took the high road and listed mutual friends and places they used to hang out in an attempt to jog his faulty memory. His response, "Hmmmm ... I still seem to be struggling."

Pissed, Miriam kept her response simple: "We used to hook up." She never heard back.