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Schadenfreude Confirmed: Lehman Bros. Kills Severances

wallstreetdanceoff.jpg
DANCING WHILE THE FAT CATS SQUIRM This is what goes on down on Wall Street this week (Photo: AFP/Getty Images )
The almost class-conscious American populace, currently riled into a state of either inertia or rage by the goings-on down at Wall Street, all agree on one thing: no "golden parachutes" for the greedy, blood-sucking financial types who ... did something or other to make the money go bad. Sure, no one knows what happens or why they all got such bad mortgages or why minimum wage is ludicrous, but those fat cat brie-loving homosexuals in their fancy blue shirts up in New York City (9/11! Never forget!) must pay. So they'll be happy to know that Lehman Brothers, the bankrupt financial institution, did indeed cancel its promised severance packages to the thousands of people it has laid off. No more Chablis for them! This is good for America's morale because it means that other people are suffering. It's sort of like how the death penalty brings people together.

Wow, those girls must be freezing.

Also, where is the 'Of Bears and Woods' tag?

Posted by: moneycashhos on October 7, 2008 10:41 AM

There's plenty of good money to be made off of Doom.

Posted by: KarenUhOh on October 7, 2008 10:52 AM

Shouldn't Julia Allison and her crew be dancing with the bear, or at least the Balk?

Posted by: Swifter on October 7, 2008 11:58 AM

So who had the $$$ to splurge on the hookers?

Posted by: succulent on October 7, 2008 12:31 PM

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Hey Choire (what kind of retarded spelling is that anyway?),

Did your dad work for Lehman or something? You can see no reason why people would be against using PUBLIC money to pay for the salaries of a failed company other than homophobia and Schadenfreude? I know you're a super skilled "blogger" and all, but maybe you should stick to Internet "celebrity" gossip or something.

Posted by: YouDouche on October 7, 2008 12:38 PM

He's right, Choire.
Your name is pretty stupid.

Posted by: IBentMyWookie on October 7, 2008 12:56 PM

You should read here more often, Douche: we've frequently written about the bailout as a fairly stupid and pretty much terribly bad idea.

Posted by: Choire_Sicha on October 7, 2008 1:46 PM

Memo to YouDouche - the bailout and the Lehman severances are different issues. The severances (which go to most laid off employees including the mailroom guy and secretaries) are cancelled because of the bankruptcy case.

The bailout plan will use treasury funds to buy illiquid securities from financial institutions. Kinda not the same thing.

The bailout plan also doesn't stop golden parachutes already in effect - it just puts limits on golden parachutes that can be signed from here on out.

Posted by: westvillager on October 7, 2008 2:34 PM

"Chore" spelled backwards unretardedly is "Eroica." It is, however, pronounced the same.

Posted by: KarenUhOh on October 7, 2008 2:52 PM

Even more unretarded, Karen, is to set up your line correctly: "Choire."

Doirk.

Posted by: KarenUhOh on October 7, 2008 2:53 PM

I obviously "need" to start "using" more quote marks to be "taken seriously" around here.

Posted by: Hez on October 8, 2008 4:55 AM