If it could also stop you from texting my nights would be almost completely peaceful!

Math is hard. :(

Someone tipped those assholes that I suck at trigonometry.

Clearly this app was written by a man. The female app would have a pop up window that says "You shouldn't send this. Why? Because you're smart enough, you're pretty enough and he never deserved you anyway. If you loved yourself, you would click cancel."

Ah, so this is why Alex hasn't replied to my last two emails.
HE STILL LOVES ME! IT'S THE DAMNABLE INTERWEB TUBES THAT WON'T CONVEY HIS MESSAGE.

There's some confusion here, I think. I understood we were supposed to pour the bourbon into the keyboard FIRST.

For, um, hygenic purposes.

I think that little "Submit" button right below this entry box should force you to take the math test. You'd get far less comments from me.

Now if I can just get a breathalyzer lock on my cell phone, I will be safer than a bubble boy.