How can you not have a great weekend when all this is going on around you?

• A spanking new Newsweek poll gives Barack Obama a double-digit lead over John McCain.
• BRITNEY SPEARS OPENS UP about her nervous breakdown!
• Today, Portfolio asks the important question: "Home foreclosures are up, the market is down, unemployment is high, and consumer spending is flat. These days, nobody wants to buy a five-figure handbag—or do they?" Everyone I sent this to on IM today laughed until they cried. And despite all the story's disclaimers, seriously, this piece expired two weeks ago.

• Hugh Hefner's twin girlfriends kick each other in the face.
• Colin Powell appeared as a character witness for embattled Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. Poor Powell. We all already know he'll say anything he's told to.
• "At Fox News, Hannity Gets Multimillion Dollar Contract Extension; Colmes Gets Called 'Dumb Bastard.'"
• Understanding the TED Spread. This is important, pay attention!
• Viacom honcho Sumner Redstone had to sell off one-fifth of his stock to supply cash to his holding company.
• Presented without commentary: "OMFG...Palin is going to drop the puck at the Rangers /Flyers game! Please tell all your friends in Philly to chant 'PUCK YOU PALIN'!!!"
• And: "'Barack Osama' on Hundreds of Upstate Absentee Ballots."