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Matthew Broderick Apparently Has Intercourse In Urban Area

broderick_parker.jpg
Ohhhkay. So what, a few weeks ago, Matthew Broderick is telling me about the joys of taking the whole summer off to spend it with his wife and the kid (now five-and-a-half!) and the idyllic Amagansett scene of "these little girls were blowing up balloons that you attach a little engine to and they go up in the air" and how lovely everything is. And MEANWHILE, says Star magazine, he is chasing around some "gorgeous redhead" and crawling out of her friend's bedroom and, in the necessary tabloid coinage, having "sex in the city." (ARGH KILL.) So a couple of things!

One, this story: there is nothing less titillating than the cheatings of a middle-aged man. We're used to it. We've all slept with married men. We know what it's about. Yargh. Two, if this story is not at all true, it is CURTAINS for Star magazine. No libel insurance in the world will help them then. Three! Huh, the sourcing of this story. Is it: One "gorgeous redhead"? Or: one employee of PMK, who represents Broderick. (Or! One employee of ID PR, who represents his wife Sarah Jessica Parker?) Your call! Good gravy, IS EVERYONE LYING ABOUT EVERYTHING all the time? Why do we even talk to people any more? Why don't we just live in caves and fuck whoever we want and eat raw animals?

Comments

perfect. by far the funniest thing i've read all day.

thank you (again), choire.

Posted by: sailor on July 23, 2008 4:07 PM

Oh. You said "EAT" the raw animals and "FUCK" whoever we want. . .

Oh, my. I must read more carefully.

Posted by: KarenUhOh on July 23, 2008 4:46 PM

It's embarrassing to come in here, day after day, hand-flapping and carrying on about how deep my ChoireLove runs but yeah... it's all I've got.

Posted by: jolie on July 23, 2008 4:56 PM

I can't help but think that this will help his rep.

Posted by: Stop Okay Go on July 23, 2008 10:14 PM

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I beg to differ with your statement that we have all slept with Married men. The only two married men that I have slept with were married to me at the time. (but not the same time!) None of my friends sleep around either. Maybe you should scale back on such broad statements.

Posted by: sheilalvssg1 on July 24, 2008 4:11 AM

@ sheilalvssg1: Thanks for the clarification. And the sense of humor. Slut.

Posted by: dirtydeer on July 24, 2008 10:23 AM

This whole story is too hazy to be any more than rumor I think. Matthew's happiness when talking about spending summer with his family is enough proof for me that he hasn't been cheating.

@ dirtydeer: Slut? Grow a backbone. I'm sick of this cyber-bullying, anonymity has bred an overwhelmingly disheartening crassness where people like you become cowards behind your keyboards.

Posted by: ser on July 24, 2008 10:53 PM

As one coward behind a keyboard to the others, i have two words about this story: open marriage.

Posted by: Judycats on July 26, 2008 8:30 AM

Why do women sleep with married men?

Posted by: Curators52 on July 26, 2008 10:20 AM

How sad! He's "Sarah Jessica's Husband" - not Matthew Broderick! No wonder he wants to get out from under her!

I actually feel sorry for Ferris Bueller - he was the big star when they married, now she's eclipsed him...that must put a strain on their relationship...

Posted by: MaggieLeeds on July 28, 2008 12:05 PM


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